Killer Ice-breakers – 7 questions to help you win friends and influence great business contacts by Life Coach

Who hasn’t felt their heart sink and their stomach churn when you can hear the roar of chatter behind the door as you approach a networking event?

It’s the nightmare scenario everyone faces as novice networkers. But there are a few things you need to bear in mind if you want to make these events purposeful instead of painful.

The main thing you need to do is use your ears. Your ears never get you in trouble! People love to talk about their selves, their passion about their business and who they are. Let them.
They’ll think you’re fascinating and charismatic and all you did was nod in the right place and more importantly, picked up clues about how to helpthem, connect them to others or form a strategic alliance.

Let them do all the work and let your ears do the detective work and this way you don’t leave the event exhaustedand feeling as if you’ve done nothing but hard sell yourself for hours.

Tuck one or two of these up your sleeve to ask:
1. What’s do you love about your job? (See their passion)Their faces should light up at this point and if they don’t that in itself is another clue as to who they are and what their business needs. People will immediately warm to you for asking this. Good ice breaker.
2. How did you get started in your line of work? (Their life story)You may get someone’s life history here especially if they are successful but again a good way of seeing what makes the person tick

3. What separates your business from your competitors? (What makes them different)This gives the other person permission to brag and show what they excel at. What their USP is. Nod, smile and look impressed. You’re learning new things all the time.
4. What’s changed in your industry over the last few years and what do you see happening in the future? (Their challenges) This allows the person to show off their knowledge and expertise. They know more about this subject than you but it also gives you an insight to their challenges from their observations and speculations. Use this information for follow up.

5. So, what's next for you? Where will you be in 5 years time - beach or boardroom? (Their Big Dream)Some want world domination, others a quiet life; a global empire or a “nice little living” but whatever it is the individual wants now you are privy to their Big Dream How could you help them get there? Who or what do you know that could help them (and benefit you?)
6. What’s one of the funniest things you’ve experienced in business life? (Relax them)A funny and memorable story will have you both giggling. Everyone adores someone who made them laugh, even if they themselves were the one to tell the funny story! It makes everyone feel more relaxed and it makes you memorable.
Have your own story up your sleeve and share it too.
7. What’s your ideal type of client/customer? (Who they are looking for)Celebrities, the rich, the poor, the needy, the pregnant, married, single, with children, high powered corporate, small business owner, international, local, CEO, entrepreneur? Why not pass on leads or offer referrals at this stage?
This implicitly tells them you’ll look out for them and could encourage reciprocation. Makes you looklike a good networker.
And finally don’t cross examine, be human and share your stories too where appropriate. Don’t try to sell and doexplore common ground. Introduce them to other networkers, even if you’ve only just met them too.Remember also that you’re not just here to socialize. Be goal-focused and have an intention from the event andif you can enjoy yourself.
There’s nothing more attractive than someone having fun and making it look effortless.
Want to book a free 30 minute coaching consultation with Carole Ann Rice ? Visit her at http://www.realcoachingco.com/

Stop People Pleasing – Now! – Life Coach Carole Ann Rice looks at how you can please yourself and keep your friends too.

Do you worry inordinately about what people think of you?


Would you rather bite your tongue, swallow back your true feelings and “go with the flow” than say what you really think? If you frequently feel misunderstood, overlooked or powerless in situations which, deep down you know are of your own making, then you could be one of life’s people pleasers.



You pride yourself on being “nice” of putting other’s needs before your own and yet sometimes it can feel as though nobody puts you first or understands what you really want. It may feel good at the time to fit in and be accommodating to others, perhaps it makes you feel loveable and needed. But being easy-going may mean you are treated as a dog’s body or a pushover.



People pleasers may on the surface desire harmony but underneath may be people riddled with self doubt, can often feel isolated and alone and someone who certainly is not their own best friend.



If this is you then you’ll recognize the signs. From going along to another party you’d rather avoid to lying sleepless in bed wishing you’d had the courage to say the things you really believed in.



One of my clients, a self-confessed people pleaser, said “when I am being nice I’m telling a lie” as he knew it was a cover-up for his real feelings which he didn’t respect enough to express.
If you can relate to this here are some coaching questions to ask yourself and some practical tips to try to go from people pleasing to pleased person:



Ask yourself:



· What am I really scared about people knowing about me?· Why am I trying to please people all the time? What do I get out of it?·





What is the cost of needing to be liked?·





What would it take to value myself more?·





What do I want from others?·





What do I need to trust in order for me to speak up for myself?



Practical tips to try today:



· Volunteer less





· Say “no” more often to small things and build your confidence gradually





· Have healthy boundaries with others





· See how people respect others who know and express their own mind





· “Get” that it’s entirely OK to have opinions and desires different from others.





· Dare to be true and authentic. Being you is entirely enough.



Worried about what people think about you? The bad news is that other people talk and think about you a lot less than you would imagine. They are far too occupied thinking about themselves. What is important is what you think of yourself, liking what know and truly accepting the good in that.



For more information or to book a free 30 minute coaching session visit Carole Ann at http://www.realcoachingco.com/